You could call it a metaphor for government efficiency — a four-year-old hole in the sidewalk outside the IRS building that still isn’t fixed.
An NBA coach won a few rigged card games but lost his freedom. The East Wing may be gone, but the federal government gained a mid-century six-bedroom house with a wraparound porch. The U.S. Army lost its nickels but found some cash. The courts can’t pay staff during the shutdown, but they’re still happy to collect PACER fees. And half a dozen people arrested this week for threatening politicians? They’ve definitely lost their temper.
Quietly, we’re also rooting for one Illinois man who forged 694 federal judges’ signatures — all in a quest to make every single one recuse themselves from his case. Ambitious? Absolutely. Effective? Time will tell.
The Docket Roundup
- The FBI arrested a homeless man accused of threatening investigators while under scrutiny for possible terrorism ties.
- A man named Stalker was, fittingly, charged with stalking.
- Former RNC finance chair Elliot Broidy sued Israeli newspaper Haaretz.
- An 18-year-old Texan was indicted for allegedly threatening a Christian music festival on Roblox in the name of ISIS.
- Two Jewish twins at Columbia University sued the school for its response to campus antisemitism.
- Colorado’s former judicial watchdog claims state officials covered up a multimillion-dollar bribe.
- Curious what thousands of dollars in seized U.S. coins look like? The feds have you covered.
- A former Air Force member allegedly threatened online to kill and resurrect Donald Trump — twice.
- A New York Attorney General fraud case took an unexpected twist involving unsolicited texts between prosecutors and a journalist.
- A startup says Amazon stole its idea for helping drivers find restrooms.
- Homeland Security broke up a fake ID ring in Michigan.
- A California case sheds light on which prosecutions continue during a government shutdown.
- A Louisiana grand jury indicted a Palestinian man tied to the October 7 Hamas attacks.
- Students for Fair Admissions sued a Hawaiian school for allegedly favoring Native Hawaiian applicants.
- A Jan. 6 lawyer is in trouble for citing AI-generated “hallucinations” in a court filing.
- A case we flagged two years ago is now heading to the Supreme Court.
- A Virginia couple tried — unsuccessfully — to stop the East Wing’s demolition.
- Federal prosecutors seized over $1 million from a contractor after a four-year dispute with the U.S. Army.
- A Florida man allegedly threatened Hasan Piker, Nancy Pelosi, and several journalists.
- The “sovereign citizen” filing of the week involves a sacred thread.
- CFO Squad is suing two ex-employees for launching a rival firm. We’d pay to see a CFO vs. CFO squash match.
- Alaska judges publicly rebuked a search warrant — a rare move.
- Sixteen states and Washington, D.C., beat the Department of Education in a funding case for mental health programs.
- Arizona and Rep.-elect Adelita Grijalva are suing the House for refusing to swear her in during the shutdown.
- In Illinois, Walter Brzowski got every judge in his district to recuse themselves — by allegedly forging two of their signatures. There are 670 federal judges nationwide, so he still has work to do.
- The administration’s bid to access minors’ hospital records in Philadelphia continues.
- A man investigated by SafeSport wants to remain anonymous while suing the organization.
- The feds seized multiple homes tied to a North Carolina Medicare fraud scheme.
- A court is mediating a dispute over feline leukemia vaccines.
- ICE and the FBI arrested four Portland roommates after one allegedly aimed a laser at law enforcement aircraft.
- A new baseball bat lawsuit questions whether pricey “improved” bats are actually improved.
- A former teacher was caught smuggling 100 pounds of cocaine at the border.
- The ACLU’s latest D.C. protest case opens with a Star Wars reference — Darth Vader included.
- A Minnesota man allegedly posted a TikTok hit reward for Florida’s attorney general.
- Conservation groups sued over new grazing allotments in Washington’s national forests.
- The SEC is still sorting out an attorney’s suspension over unpaid bar dues.
- A judge ordered Laura Loomer to submit physical thumb drives instead of unsecured links.
- The feds stopped a potential mass shooting at Atlanta’s airport.
- Prosecutors and defense attorneys are debating the sentence for an ex-Army sergeant who tried to share secrets with China — one side citing schizophrenia, the other calling it deliberate espionage.
- A casino tax fraud case is unfolding in Florida.
- Courts and defender offices are now furloughing workers as the government shutdown drags on.
- The Ninth Circuit can’t agree on how to interpret its own precedent (and yes, there are two footnote 1s).
- A U.S. contractor is suing over $100 million in unpaid USAID work in Honduras.
- Newsmax and Fox News are trading accusations of judge-shopping.
- Prosecutors dropped an old FARA case tied to Turkish President Erdogan.
- And, for a dystopian twist — a lawsuit accuses an AI site of helping high schoolers create explicit fake images of classmates.
Finally, back to where we started: the literal hole in the sidewalk outside the IRS building — still unfilled, still symbolic, and still the most on-brand government story of the year.
